A "Successful" Mother
Growing up, her mother often told her that she needed to study hard to ensure a comfortable life in the future. She would be able to get secure a good job, earn lots of money and be able to afford anything she wanted. And so listened to her mother.Her mother was very proud of her and her siblings - they all went to university, 2 of them even got their Masters degree. They all have decent jobs. She was the envy of her friends and relatives - for bringing up such good kids. She's never been the type to show off - but she felt proud whenever her friends asked "did your daughter/son buy you that pair of handbag?" or whenever her friends find out which nice restaurant we took her to. She's one lucky woman - surrounded by her husband and loving children as she enjoys her old age.
However, there is one thing which bothers her no end. Her friends make made remarks about it. So have her relatives. It never bothered her much, but lately, that's the one red mark in her otherwise perfect report card. Just one thing.
She doesn't have a rich (prospective) son-in-law to speak of.
It mars her reputation in her group of friends and amongst relatives as the person who is so lucky she has such good children. To them, a rich son-in-law is the one indication that you have done your job as a mother. You have taught your daughter well, to secure herself a good future, and along the way, increase your own standing in the ladder of successful mothers.
The degree of success is measured by the gap between the educational, financial status and social status between the daughter and the SIL. The bigger the gap, the more succesful her mother has been at raising her daughter.
To illustrate,
Mother No 1:
Daughter - high-school drop out, and works at the local hypermarket.
SIL - he has an MBA, drives a BMW, and a hotshot banker.
Mother No 2:
Daughter - university graduate, works as an analyst in an MNC.
SIL - he has an MBA, drives a BMW, and a hotshot banker.
Conclusion: Mother No 1 wins hands down.
The brownie points accorded to any gifts received by the mother is not in proportion to the value of the gift or the thought that goes with it. It depends entirely on the person who gives it.
Another illustration,
Gift No 1: LV bag from daughter.
Gift No 2: LV bag from rich SIL.
Gift No 3: LV bag from middle-class SIL.
Gift No 4: Non-designer brand bag from daughter.
Gift No 5: Non-designer brand bag from rich SIL.
Gift No 6: Non-designer brand bag from middle-class SIL.
Now, can you arrange brownie points to be according to the above (in descending order)?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Results:
1. LV bag from rich SIL (*ding ding ding* this is the CHAMPION!)
2. Non-designer brand bag from rich SIL.
3. LV bag from middle-class SIL.
4. Non-designer brand bag from middle-class SIL.
5. LV bag from daughter.
6. Non-designer brand bag from daughter.
My mom is the biggest failure in this zipcode. And she reminds me (subtly, or maybe not that subtly) all the time.
Labels: Cathartic Rant
2 Comments:
It's weird isn't it, how Confucian societies evolved to become so. The superficiality is almost depressing.
Thankfully, it's not so pronounced in Taiwan anymore though one'd still be hard-pressed to find parents shunning prospective brides/grooms with wealth, etc.
Having said that, I must say my parents are not like that... although they'd much prefer someone from a similar background [門當戶對] given that we still suffer ***huge*** culture shocks with my SIL (or rather, her family). :-]
What's sad is how she wasn't like this at all. It was always how well and successful her kids are.
If it was about 門當戶對, then I guess my bf got the raw end of the deal! Haha
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